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Exercise 2: A comma experiment

Original: “Consider the origin of the word. I was using his Inuit lore against him, forcing him to respond reasonably, a rare sign of weakness on his part. Todd was a determined thinker who liked to work a fact or an idea to the seventh level of interpretation. He was tall and sprawling, all bony framework, the kind of body not always in synch with its hinges and joints. Somebody said that he seemed the love child of storks, others thought ostriches. He did not seem to taste food; he consumed it, absorbed it, ingestible matter of plant or animal origin. He spoke of distances in metres and kilometres, and it took me a while to understand that this was not an affectation so much as a driving need to convert units of measurement more or less instantaneously. He liked to test himself on what he knew. He liked to stop walking to emphasize a point as I walked on. This was my counterpoint, to let him stand there talking to a tree. The shallower our arguments, the more intense we became.”

Edit: Consider the origin of the word I said, using his Inuit lore against him. I forced him to respond reasonably as a rare sign of weakness on his part. Todd was a determined thinker, he liked to work a fact or an idea to the seventh level of interpretation. He was all bony framework: tall and sprawling. It was the kind of body not always in synch with its hinges and joints. Somebody said that he seemed the love child of storks or perhaps ostriches. He did not seem to taste food, but rather he consumed and absorbed it, ingestible matter of plant or animal origin. He spoke of distances in metres and kilometres, and it took me a while to understand that this was not an affectation, but much more a driving need to convert units of measurement more or less instantaneously. He liked to stop walking to emphasize a point as I walked on, but this was my counterpoint, to let him stand there talking to a tree. The shallower that our arguments were, the more intense we became.”

As I read through this, I tried to make use of the comma in order to slightly alter the tone of the paragraph, but honestly I found this writing to be so enjoyably well written, that there were not many changes to make.

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